Changes, Time, Rickshaws and Abetting Suicide

May 28, 2016

On Tuesday Hosha showed up and I was told by Kamla, my neighbor, that Sankar sent a replacement to wash her cars today and said Sankar went to his village for a couple of days. Tuesday Hosha showed up and said she needed 1000 rupees because her brother was in the hospital. I didn’t want to give her the money because I have never felt she was trustworthy. Ron was irritated that I had given in to her request. I made it clear to her the money would have to be repaid. She left and said she would be back at 2:00. I left at noon but Ron stayed home today because so few people are on campus that the dining facilities are all closed so he was working from home.  Hosha showed up right after I left and stayed one hour. I was infuriated because of what she did here. She sort of made the bed…she left a water bottle on the lawn after drinking it, she didn’t refill the other water bottle in the refrig after drinking all but one inch. You need to understand that we don’t just go to the faucet and refill bottles here. We turn on two machines that drizzles water into bottles and it takes time. So the rule of thumb is when you drain one bottle to refill it or there won’t be any water to drink when you want it. Her biggest offense was she left an outdoor faucet running after doing the laundry. I didn’t discover it until 7:30, six and half hours after she left. That did it for me. This was inexcusable. Water is not distributed here as in the US. It is distributed for three hours a day and goes into a home owner’s water storage tank. I have no idea how much we lost that day but she had crossed a line with me. As my chiropractor used to say “Tricia, you are one of the most flexible people I have ever worked with …up to a point then you are rigid.” That is the truth and I don’t deny it. Of course I am older now and not so flexible physically. 

Wednesday when Hosha showed up I showed her what she had done and scolded her. I doubt she understood my words but she got my meaning and she started to make excuses. I took her to the door and said ‘finished’. No one likes to have to fire someone (except maybe the Donald) but anyone who left water running in this parched country that has severe water shortages is completely irresponsible. Thursday Sankar returned. I sat him down and explained why I did not want Hosha to work for me anymore. When I took him outside and showed him that the faucet had been left running for six and a half hours, he reacted by putting his hands over his face and shaking his head. He got it. He apologized profusely. He worked his tail off and returned in the evening and did more work.

Time in India

We are discovering that time in India is a very different concept than in the US. For example Ron will either call or text the broker to report any issues with the house that require attention. We had planned to go out to eat on Friday night . We decided to go out two nights a week to relieve the stress of cooking and meal prep here. Sankar showed up at his appointed time which was 6:00. His evening shift is usually 6-8 or if he finishes up earlier he leaves then. Some nights we tell him not to come back in the evening because we are going out. Around 6:30 a man from the broker’s office shows up without any warning that he was coming, and wanted to look at the electrical issue Ron had reported. He went up on the roof with Ron, looked at it and left. About 20-25 minutes later, he returned with two men…electricians in name only Ron said. They were here about 20 minutes. None of these visits were announced so it would have been easy for them to come and no one to be here. This has always been the case. Today the owner’s are supposed to come to the house for a visit. They have just returned from a month’s vacation in Las Vegas and CA. We have asked the broker several times when to expect them. No word. So today we cannot leave to have a Saturday play day as it were because we have no idea when they are coming. They live about two hours from here and we want to discuss house issues with them so we are staying put. Perhaps it is because we live in an expensive neighborhood where everyone has staff in their homes: men to wash their cars daily in the morning, women to do child care, women to cook and clean the home, gardeners, drivers, etc. But we have one person who is here 9-12 and 6-8. So anytime we expect a workman I stay home. Often we are told ‘we will be there Tuesday or Wednesday which gets changed to another date on Wednesday evening or it doesn’t get changed until we call to say ‘what happened to you?’.

This is largely a cash society. Workman get paid when they finish the job so I would have to be home in order to do that if I were a homeowner. Since we are renters the broker sends someone over to pay the workman. No billing occurs as far as we can tell. Large grocery stores will take credit cards, most restaurants do not. My hair/nail salon is cash only.

Rickshaws

Yesterday’s paper had an article regarding rickshaw drivers in Ahmedabad This will be our last week hopefully of being completely dependent on using rickshaws. The majority of drivers have to shell out $2.25-$3.75 in bribes every month. That doesn’t sound like much until you see what their income is. Family income of 42% of rickshaw drivers is between $224-$298 while the rest earn $75-$180. Fifty two percent do not have their own houses.  A rickshaw drivers stays on the road around 9 to 13 hours out of which 3 to 5 hours are spent waiting for passengers. Keep in mind they are out in the heat all day long as it doesn’t cool off much at night here. In addition these vehicles are low to the ground and are open with the exception of a canopy over the top and back side so they breathe exhaust fumes and air pollution all day. I wonder what their life expectancy is.

Abetting Suicide Law

India has an interesting law called something like “Suicide Abetment”. Sometimes people who commit suicide mention in their suicide note that they decided to commit suicide because someone was pressuring them. It may be a family member often a spouse and the in-law for example who are pressuring for money.  Or it may be a business partner or someone they borrowed money from. There ensues an investigation and if proven correct then the person is tried and if found guilty can be imprisoned for abetting the suicide. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, suicide seems quite common here.

May 29, 2016

Our new Hyundai i10 Magna was delivered around 6:00 last night. Ron had to sign a lot of papers. It reminded me of buying a house and all the necessary paper signing. The salesman called to say we could come get the car but we explained that we have no intention of EVER driving in India so they delivered it. It came with ribbons and bows and was quite sweet actually. There were gift chocolates also. Our photo was taken and a print will be delivered to go into the frame we were given. One major difference here is the dealer takes care of the insurance. No car leaves the lot without being insured. It is rather handy and I gather there is only one choice of insurance coverage since no questions were asked about what level of coverage we wanted. The car will sit in our driveway until our driver starts on Thursday. Sankar has let us know he has a license but we prefer to wait. We have no idea of his skill or his insurance coverage and if he has met other requirements for a driver in India. Our driver, Rahul, signed an agreement that stated he was required to have met all state and national requirements for driving. Sankar has enough to do here with the house cleaning, laundry, ironing and yard. We also want an English speaking driver and Sankar has limited English skills, understandably so. I can tell you now that his English is a thousand times better than my Hindi! Today Sankar said ‘A, B, C, D, E, and laughed. If I understood him correctly he is now studying English. He never ceases to amaze me.

Last night we had a scare when we were prepping dinner. Sankar came into the kitchen from outside and turned on the faucet and no water came out. He dashed up to the roof and came back and said the tank was empty. Yikes. Ron then went up and confirmed it. Sankar left and came back in a few minutes and said there had been a break in the pipes at Number 20 Saturday morning and that there  had been a geyser. So at least we know it isn’t just us and that it will be repaired quickly.

One of the things that make Sankar very special is his initiative. He does not wait to be directed, to be told what to do. He sees a need and he addresses it. In addition he takes great pride in his work and consequently he does excellent work. I sometimes have a fantasy about being able to train others to learn from Sankar. He and I would develop a curriculum to train others to learn the art of housekeeping and to learn about the critical role of attitude. A person who could grasp the concept of attitude and initiative could command a better pay as does Sankar. My neighbor scolded me initially when I told her what I paid Sankar but now she is in my court. She hired him to wash her cars and she also noted that he does a much better job than previous men. Sankar also does much more than one staff member. Kamla has six staff. I have Sankar. He works a split shift from 9-12 and 6-8. He does more than housekeeping. I really want him to stay on even though we have had some rough spots when he got sick and because he has had to borrow so much money because Hosha was hospitalized and now his mother has been hospitalized. But I trust him. If he had wanted to cheat me, he could have left after I loaned him the 6,000 for Hosha and he didn’t. He has a great job here with very good pay. So I don’t think he will walk away from that. 

Solving transport problems, learning lessons about help, and local vegetables

May 20, 2016

Having reliable internet has been terrific. We have talked with family members in NY, WY, and SC. Hope to talk with Ron’s sis and brother-in-love in RI soon.

Ron is feeling better. He went back on Cipro, a strong antibiotic after his stomach didn’t feel right.  We are now exploring buying a car and hiring a driver. The heat is brutal here. This week we broke a 100 yr old record for high temperature. Riding in an auto rickshaw in this heat makes you feel like you are cruising through hell. In addition there is terrible air pollution here and when riding in the auto rickshaw we are right at the level to be breathing exhaust from all the various vehicles.  We got a lead on a driver from a friend at CEPT and I met with him initially. Ron called him back to explore other ways to meet our needs and his and we are now in the process of drafting an agreement where we will buy a vehicle and he will work full time as our driver.  When we leave to return home at the end of the project, the driver will have first option on buying the car. Rahul is coming by tonight to review the agreement and tomorrow our neighbors are taking us to the car dealer they use.

The adjustment here has been difficult, much more so than Rep of GA where the embassy handed everything to us on a platter.  It was 11 years ago when we went to Sri Lanka and somehow it seems like it was easier but I may be mistaken. I do remember some initial problems with the house but our landlady lived next door and was very responsive. And I quickly found a driver who I used the entire time I was there. He was a wonderful resource, helping me find good stores to buy furnishings for the house, etc. We both have been sick which hasn’t helped but I remember I got the flu right after arrival in SL and was sick for over a week. The good news is we haven’t been sick at the same time and can be supportive of each other. When one of us is having a difficult time the other one jumps in to lift the spirits.

Ron has been a huge help in the kitchen. I have a difficult time with the heat so we have very simple meals. In Sri Lanka our housekeeper was also our cook. My next door neighbor here loves to cook. She has two kitchens fully equipped. She even has a traditional stove/oven which is unheard of here mostly. Usually kitchens have a two or three gas burner stove top device that sits on the counter. She sends meals over frequently, almost daily. Often it is a small serving for my lunch but today she sent over fresh puri, potatoes and another veg dish I haven’t been able to figure out but who cares. She is a great cook. So between her offerings and our small meals we are fed. I want to hire a cook but must first determine how Kamla would feel about it. I do not want to offend her. Her entire family has been so incredibly kind to us. 

We are a bit overwhelmed with Sankar, our housekeeper and his family. They slept here for two nights because he is quite sick. I sent him to bed two days ago and he didn’t leave. So all three of them slept here. In the morning when I come down to pull breakfast together Hosha is making chai for the three of them and we get in each other’s way. I realized how much I like having the house to myself part of the day. I told Sankar yesterday he had to go to the doc and get proper meds so he could get well. With these high temps I invited them to stay in the back bedroom and watch tv to avoid the heat at their home which I can only assume is a hovel with no running water and electricity. That is an assumption on my part but he showers here in the servants’ shower and he washes his clothes here which is why I made the assumption. He also recharges his phone here.  So I am hopeful the heat wave will break this weekend and he will get well so life can return to how it was before. If the heat wave breaks it will drop to 112 or 111 or something similar. We won’t see 80’s until winter in Nov or Dec.

Yesterday Sankar was gone for hours to the hospital and required an IV. He returned last night for a second one and came home with a fist full of pills. I saw at least three or four different meds. This morning he returned for another IV. I have no idea what is wrong with him but am glad he is getting care. He was able to do his chores today which he couldn’t do yesterday. I insisted that he rest but as I mentioned before he is a real butt head and insists on working.  Hosha took over for him yesterday but she left after chai this morning. The temps are supposed to drop back down to 111 this weekend so I  am hopeful he will be recovered enough to move back home. It doesn’t cool off much at night. The night temps are dropping to 85-90 not counting any radiant heat. I also want to break the afternoon tv habit when the temps drop.

Sankar’s family has been getting a little too comfortable here. They started bringing in fruit to ‘share’. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when our neighbor sent over a lunch of fish in a red sauce and rice. It was such a large serving I decided Ron and I would have it for supper. Our refrigerator was acting up so I put my meds and a few other things in the basement refrig. I went downstairs to get something and there sat Hosha and Sankar’s daughter eating our dinner on the floor in front of the refrig.. She giggled and pointed to it. I had shocked look on my face and said ‘you are eating my dinner’. She really doesn’t understand English. She started to put it away but I told her to finish it. You see, they eat with their hands and instead of getting a plate and taking a portion she had her hands in the entire container and I had no interest in eating after her. I am so cautious around food here after both of us having had diarrhea a couple of times. She then took a nap and left later in the day with the daughter to go sari blouse shopping. I told her not to come back until the next day but I don’t think she understood.

Sankar was gone from 11 when he went to the hospital for his third IV. He got back around 4:30. It turned out he had heat stroke requiring multiple IV’s. He had fallen asleep at the hospital so had a good nap. When he came back I asked him to sit down. I said ‘we have a problem’. I told him his job was from 9-12 and 6-8 and staying here all day watching tv and napping and spending the night was too much. We needed him and his family to return to their house. He immediately understood and said ’no problem’ multiple times. The he said in perfect English ‘get out!’ and we both laughed. I told him he could continue to shower here and wash his clothes here but no more tv all afternoon, no more spending the night. I needed to be very clear.

In my effort to be generous, I am as much at fault as they were but I will never understand why Hosha thought it was okay to eat our food. She and he had been clothes shopping so they are no destitute. Anyway that issue was resolved easily. We went out to one of our favorite restaurants near our former hotel and had a good meal then went grocery shopping afterwards because we were going car shopping today.

Overall it does feel like we have made progress in terms of settling in. We are more relaxed.  If the car/driver happens it will be transformative. I do not leave the house in this heat as it is quite dangerous. Heat stroke is common here and so are deaths from heat stroke. With an AC car I will be able to come and go much easier. We have our fingers crossed.

It is difficult to read the Times of India, Daily there are reports of multiple suicides. Yesterday two children killed themselves because of grades or test scores. One hung himself and a girl immolated herself. There were other reports but it is so common as to be completely unsettling. Daily there are multiple reports of corruption in every sector. It is grim reading. It also is difficult because we do not know many of the words used here.

May 23, 2016

We had a great weekend. We drafted an agreement with Rahul, the driver we intend to hire. He came over after work on Friday and said he wanted to show the agreement to his grandfather then get back to use. We negotiated the terms and his salary to everyone’s satisfaction. Saturday morning Ron went next door to see when we would be going car shopping. Amit said they will be here in 15 minutes with a model, take you for a test drive and show you the costs then they will brig another model and do the same. Hey I like this!

We ended up buying a new small Hyundai with a two year warranty which is perfect. Amit managed to negotiate the price with a 50,000 rupee discount since his family and his business buy all their cars for this dealer and Amit is friends with the general manager. What a dealership. We were impressed with how clean and well maintained it was. You could have eaten off the floor in the show room. When I commented on how many people were car shopping the general manager said they were the biggest and sold 400 units a month and had sold 900 in December. WOW! Ron got some hubcaps he wanted at no extra charge since we were paying cash. The dealership takes care of everything: getting insurance coverage, taxes, etc. We will take possession within two weeks. Rahul will start June 2.

On Sunday we decided it was time to start exploring Ahmedabad. For our first outing we visited an open air museum of Gandhi’s ashram where he lived from 1917-1930 during the long struggle for India’s independence from Britain. He reportedly said he chose this spot because it lay between a jail and a cemetery and any non-violent resister was bound to end up in one or the other. There were numerous outbuildings in this lovely shady setting next to the Sabarmati River which flows between old town and new town Ahmedabad. The ashram has an open air museum which presents an informative narrative of Gandhi’s life and teachings.

It is from this spot where Gandhi and 78 others on March 12 1930 set out on the famous Salt March to Dandi, on the Gulf of Cambay in a symbolic protest against a tax imposed by the British on salt. Gandhi vowed he would not return to the ashram until India gained independence. Sixty thousand people were arrested during this 240 mile march for civil disobedience.  Eleven years ago when we were living in Sri Lanka we visited Dandi with our friend Raju Gupta when Ron did a professional exchange with Raju . We rode a camel on the beach where the march ended.

It was hot yesterday and the museum was open air so sweat was rolling down my back. At one point a family asked if they could take our photo with their children. It was a reminder of how few tourists from the west come to Ahmedabad. We were flattered to be asked and the older son shook my hand afterwards. Very sweet gesture.

I have discovered that just about everything here takes longer than we expect. I am keenly aware of this in the kitchen. It took me two hours to clean, chop and sauté veggies today for dinner and Ron’s lunch. That was one onion, one red and one yellow pepper, two small eggplants, one carrot and a large handful of mushrooms. If anyone wants to know what I miss about the US I would easily say our fabulous produce. It is not unusual to go to the grocery store here and leave without buying vegetables because they are in such sorry condition. Forget those prewashed, peeled packages of veggies so readily available at home. The mushrooms are like cardboard and are so dirty it takes an inordinate amount of time to clean them. Our carrots at home are prewashed; not here, dirt is still clinging to them. Beets are just as dirty and sometimes too squishy to bother as are the carrots at times. Same with cauliflower or broccoli. It is rare to find lettuce and if you do it will be iceberg. I make moong bean sprouts to use as salad. Crisp veggies are a real find and a rarity here. The potatoes are delicious however, somewhat like Yukon Gold potatoes, loaded with a sweet flavor. The red onions are also delicious and are the only onions I have seen besides green onions..

Steps forward

May 16, 2016

At last I finally feel recovered. I still have the after effects of my cold but my gut issues are resolved and I am off the meds. We saw a scale last night so bought it and today I weigh 140. Too good to be true but it will be an incentive to keep the weight off. Nothing like food poisoning to get your weight down.

This week will be brutal temperature wise. Here’s what it looks like Mon-Thurs: 115, 117, 119, 120!!! Holy Crap Batman! Really?  Right now Sankar and his family are hanging out in our back bedroom with both ceiling fans on watching TV or napping. I have begged him to use the AC but he is just as stubborn as I am, if you can imagine that.

Yesterday we went to the grocery store as soon as they opened. I had been out of commission for eight days and there was nothing left here to eat after our great French toast with maple syrup that Ron made for breakfast. We got lots of needed items including finding a hand pruner for Sankar and a trowel. He had bought a pair of hedge clippers with money I gave him but what is needed here is mostly the pruning shears. We also bought him some shampoo since he showers here regularly. We got his daughter some crayons and felt pens and drawing books.

We came home and cooked together then ate a wonderful chicken rice dish Kamla sent over. After lunch we rested then went out at 5:30 to the small mall with the cinema. We ate at Show Time, Kamla’s family’s new café. It seats 10 and is surrounded by women’s clothing, a unique concept, having a clothing store and café combo. We had great chicken tikka burgers and potato wedges with iced tea. The café basically serves snack food: sandwiches, burgers and pizza.

We walked over to a household goods store and found out they sold mattresses. Traditional Indian mattresses are about three-four inches thick and hard as a rock. It is driving me crazy. So we looked at three styles: wrapped springs, combo springs and other material and foam. The one I liked was the most expensive. We will continue to look but I am clear we need a better mattress.

Then we went to see Capt. America: Civil War. A friend sent us a good review but frankly it is not our genre for sure. This is our second venture to the cinema here and again cell phones rang, conversations ensued, and the children behind us talked incessantly. They seem to like intermissions here so we moved our seats although seats are assigned. There were enough empties that it didn’t matter.

Afterwards we went across the way to explore the upstairs of a store we had visited before but never ventured upstairs. Ron was hopeful to find tools. Instead we found a good grocery store. It isn’t as great as where we usually shop but I can walk to it if I go when they open at 11:00. Anything after noon and I would die of heat stroke I think. It will serve for a lot of our needs but not all. I am pretty happy it is so close.

Saturday our internet provider promised Ron delivery of an upgrade to our receiver/sender by 5:00. At 5:00 he called them and they promised that night. NO show. On Sunday they called around 4:30 and promised today but were not specific about a time but again promised to call and let us know. NOTHING!  So Ron wrote what he likes to call a ‘nasty gram’. It is now 4:00 on Monday. When Kamla came over to bring lunch, she asked if our internet was working. Her son staged a protest last week when he found out the provider still had not fixed our problem. I told her nothing has been done and I related the weekend saga where Ron went to the company in person and filed a formal complaint, all the broken promises, etc. In no time she got on the phone to her son and he called Ron to get the whole story.

I told Kamla I had never experienced anything like this with all the promises that mean nothing and perhaps it was cultural and we just needed to accept it. It is extremely frustrating for both of us but Ron has been going ballistic over it. At this point we do not believe anything they say. Their promises regarding timelines are just words. I still believe they will eventually get us up and running but I am not sure we will still be living on the planet at that time. I have stayed home all day hoping they would show up and we know from experience someone could show up as late at 8:00 p.m. and that is not unusual here. What is unusual is showing up any time before noon. Or maybe I should say showing up at all.

Monday night - Ah, yet another day of no show from our internet provider.

May 17, 2016

Today the paper had an article on how hot it is in the state of Gujarat where we live. Ahmedabad is one of the four hottest cities in the state. The article mentioned how the radiant heat from the concrete sidewalks, walls and asphalt roads adds three to eight degrees to the registered temperature. So today for example the temp is 116 so depending where you are standing it could have the effect of being 119 to 124! I told Ron when we were in an auto rickshaw coming back from lunch it felt like the world was on fire. Now I understand why!

We had lunch with Arthur who is Irish and is here on a two year contract to establish a furniture design master’s program. Arthur has been teaching here for 30 years and is a wonderful resource for us. He gave us the name of a man who has a car and is for hire so we will set up an appointment to see what we can work out. If it works out it could be a huge help to us to move beyond rickshaws. With the heat and soon the monsoons we will need another form of transportation. I have my fingers crossed.

Yesterday Sankar complained of a backache or sore back. Today I pointed out to him that when he takes his afternoon break in the back bedroom he sleeps on the tile floor and that is why he has a backache. So I told him to sleep on the bed instead, something that he has refused to do, along with refusing to use the AC. Today when I returned from lunch with Ron and Arthur, Sankar was asleep on the bed! YAY! Of course he had no AC and not even the fans were on.  Small steps I guess.

Hip hip hooray…I hope. Spedigo just showed up within 20 minutes of my return. In hand were both pieces of equipment Ron had requested: an upgrade on our receiver/sender and a wifi device. They are installing them now and I have my fingers crossed that means we will now have reliable internet. As a backup we went by our phone store today to get the 3G service we paid for but never received. Ron tried numerous times to resolve the problem over the phone but never could. So if our Spedigo provider doesn’t provide we hopefully can use our phones with out any problems.

Ron tested the new equipment. We were able to call family using Skype for the first time. We could stream The News Hour with no problems. Hooray! This is huge stress reliever.

Trying times

May 13, 2016

I have been sick all week. Tuesday I took a turn for the worse. By 4:30 p.m. I had a fever of 102, chills and the shakes. Unfortunately I had not paid attention to the balance on my phone and couldn’t call Ron. I tried texting but my hand was shaking so bad I could hardly do it; then of course, I couldn’t send it due to my phone’s low balance. I tried emailing and of course the internet wasn’t working. We have been here since April 1 (is there a message in that?) and have yet to experience reliable internet either at our hotel or home.

When Ron got home, we headed to the hospital. Shalby came recommended and it is a private hospital. I’ll just say ‘we ain’t in Kansas anymore, Toto’. Some attendants in the ER were wearing sandals; not exactly a good safety measure. I was seen immediately and was well treated. They did some blood work, calmed me down as my heart rate was elevated as was my blood pressure which is always low. After we got the lab results the doc said he thought it was a viral infection and he could prescribe some meds and I could go home or spend the night. As you would expect I came home. I feel asleep way early after all that excitement. I awoke at 1:30 and realized I had not taken my last dosage of eye meds so got up, closed the bedroom door and went downstairs where I got light headed and fainted on the kitchen floor. I came to soaked with sweat and burning up. I called for Ron but no way could he hear me on the second floor with AC on in the bedroom and the door closed. Then I got diarrhea and couldn’t get off the floor due to swooning every time I tried.

I crawled in the dark into the bathroom on my back pushing with my feet but couldn’t get on the toilet, afraid I would fall on the tile floor in a faint. Ron woke up and came to find out where I was. Thank god! By then I had taken off my clothes and made it over to the shower where there is a faucet low enough for me to reach and washed myself off. What a shitty evening! Ron gave me a diagnosis of food poisoning and I think he was right. This almost exact thing happened 11 years ago in Thailand. Ron is some kind of Super Hero in my book helping through such a mess twice. Wednesday we went through the refrigerator and tossed all the leftovers. I love saving leftovers in order to avoid cooking but we have decided they will get one day then we will toss them. Things spoil much quicker here and I had no idea what the temperature is in our refrig. We do not cook with any meat, so no worries about that.

 Sankar washing cothes

Sankar doing the laundry, especially Tricia's "dirty clothes" which eventually had to be thrown away as the smell could not be removed

Since then I have been feeling up and down; so today we had a house call from our neighbors’ doc who changed my meds: Cipro, an antibiotic for the gut, which we always take with us when we travel overseas, electrolytes and probiotics which I also brought for the first time this trip. So we had two of the three things needed and Sankar, who is just terrific, took off on his bike to the pharmacy to get the electrolyte drinks. The emergency room visit, lab work and prescriptions were $20 total and the house call was $7.50. Again the standards are not US standards but still…. I lay around most of the day and by late afternoon things starting to turn for the better. At one point after lunch I was ready to go back to the hospital but the forces of the new meds and electrolytes must have kicked in. Tonight we made dinner from the last of the food in the refrigerator.

All week my wonderful and dear neighbor, Kamla, has sent food over so neither of us have cooked. Last night was egg curry and we were wild about it and she agreed to teach me how to make it. Before I came here I had held a generalized view of Indians based on a plane conversation with an Indian who did business in Sri Lanka and from our travels in six previous trips to India. The woman on the plane made a comparison between Sri Lankans and Indians saying how sweet and passive Sri Lankans were. She then commented ‘not like us Indians’. In my travels I noted some degree of aggressiveness. On reflection, I realized we only visited tourist areas like the cultural triangle of Dehli, Agra and Jaipur, Mumbai, Chennai, etc. One of my concerns about living here versus visiting here was how would it be to live in a more aggressive culture. It turns out that our experience in Ahmedabad is the opposite of what I expected. EVERY one we have met has gone out of their way to help us. When leaving the hospital Tuesday night, Ron was trying to call a cab but couldn’t understand the person on the line. A man walked up to me and asked if he could help so I told him the problem. He went to Ron and got the deed done and chatted us up until the cab arrived.  Another time we were walking to the movie in our neighborhood and a woman stopped and picked us up. She had seen us in the society and she has lived there for 16 years. This kind of thing happens constantly here. Our neighbor’s adult son has bent over backwards to help us with getting internet service. When he found out this week we were still having problems, he told the internet bill collector he refused to pay his bill until they fixed OUR problem! And so it goes.  We had a conversation with an Indian woman who is a student at CEPT and she said Mumbai changed her, made her a person she didn’t like and she will no longer live there. So I must amend my previous perception of the cultural personality of Indians: not aggressive unless perhaps they live in a dog eat dog environment. I could say the same about any place on the face of the earth.

The weather this week is brutal: 112-114 all week and today was 116. More of it expected on the weekend. Because I was so sick today, Sakar stayed until 1:30 then got his wife and daughter to come over so I wouldn’t be alone in case I got worse. They watched TV. Ron came home early since I was having a hard time and they got up to leave. He invited them to stay and continue to watch TV. Later Sankar joined them . I told him it was too hot outside and they should just stay here and watch the tube. I think they were happy on both accounts and stayed until late in the day.

May 14, 20016 - Frustration Level High

 Part of going on an adventure in a developing country is dealing with mountains of frustration. There is so much to learn and adapt to. There truly is a world of difference from everything to availability of services, to how services are accessed, to food availability (never expect to see a supermarket like a Safeway or Fred Meyer), to realizing you can’t be understood due to language barriers and even when both parties speak English there is still lots of miscommunication and frustration. Customer service is an unknown here. When Ron calls about a problem with the internet they hang up on him or say ‘I‘ll call you back’ and never do. Finding a hardware store, forget ACE Hdwe. If you don’t know Ron then you don’t know what a project guy he is. He is currently trying to repair a broken office chair that came with the house and find a missing gutter support before the monsoons arrive. Why not have the landlord do it you may ask? Because we were told when we looked at the house there was a home theater but the projector needed repair. That was one over a month ago and it has yet to be repaired along with other issues with the house. Sometimes it is easier to just do it yourself…but of course it isn’t all that easy to find gutter parts when you can’t find a hardware store. Do you sort of see how it goes when you step into our adventure? Okay for those of you who wonder why do it then? Because we ultimately love it. We love discovering different cultures, attitudes, ways of approaching and doing things. It seems healthy to us. Yes it is difficult but not all the time. The transition is always the hardest and this one is harder than we remember Sri Lanka being easier. One major difference is Mr Kularathna. He was a rickshaw driver I found when we were staying in the hotel when we arrived in Sri Lanka and I used him almost daily the entire time I was there: need a watch repair, he took me there, need a hardware item, away we went. Oh how I long for Mr. K. Some drivers here are illiterate or can’t read English, they don’t have cell phones so you call them and many of them only know their neighborhood and will not drive outside of that neighborhood.

Right now our FL (Frustration Level) is pretty darn high. It truly feels like and I don’t think I am exaggerating, that every single issue we have had to deal with has been a problem, taking numerous phone calls, numerous missed appointments, weeks to accomplish what should be a simple task and always multiple visits. Nothing has ever been done in one visit. It baffles us.  Our frustration has been exacerbated by the extreme heat which confines us to being inside during the peak times and to get anything done. Businesses, even mall stores, don’t open until 11:00 so during the week, I can either make one quick trip to be home by noon when Sankar leaves or go out after he leaves which is in the heat of the day. This week I have been confined to my bedroom so we desperately need groceries.

I must say internet has become the bane of our existence here. Ron was ready to scream bloody murder this morning as nothing was working. We have yet to receive the proper equipment that was promised two days ago and without it we have more problems that we can keep track of, like we can receive but not send emails! When we try to call a cab using one of the local apps they can’t find us. Finding a shoe repair place. When Ron asked where one was his coworkers said ‘they are everywhere, just look on the street for a pile of shoes’. 

So today Ron headed out early in an auto rickshaw because he couldn’t get a cab using the app and headed straight to the internet provider to demand they come with the equipment with greater capacity and to order a modem. Right now I use my cell phone for wifi when Ron is using the internet. Then he will try to find a hardware store. I hope he has some success because I worry about how frustrated he is at this point. I sent Sankar off on his bike to get Ron’s shoes repair. He returned and the street cobbler (that is all there is here) had nailed the sole to the shoe body where is had previously been glued. I hope Ron doesn’t have a cow.

Ron has returned. He made tremendous progress: the new equipment will be installed before 5:00 (IST) Indian Stretchable Time. We can only hope that meant today! Couldn’t find the needed hardware parts but did find a hardware store. He was able to use the same driver the entire trip which is so helpful Sometimes they will not wait when you have multiple stops. The bill was $2.00 dollars and Ron gave him a huge tip (another dollar). And he had time to go to the specialty grocery store to replenish our needed staples: soy milk, canned black beans, tortillas, cheeses. Hip hip hooray!!!!!! Best of all he came home much happier and calmer. The modem will be delivered on Monday. Or so they say.  There is renewed hope, let’s hope it’s not false..

Ron and Sankar are outside working on a fix for the rain gutter.

Rube Goldberg lives! Check out the photos.

Kamla just sent over a lovely lunch of rice, three veg dishes and dessert.

A one month perspective

May 1 2016

Yesterday marked the end of our first month. What a day it was. For starters it was hot, damn hot, and I mean it really hot. We have been having record breaking temps to an already hot climate. Yesterday our broker, Anurag, said we can expect hot days for the next few days. I had to laugh. It has been sweltering since we arrived! It was 109.4 yesterday and 111 predicted for today.

We moved into the house on April 21 and we have had numerous problems at the house since. The AC in the dining room drips on the buffet after about an hour, the water pressure comes and goes, we have not had hot water, (however we now get some as the roof top tank has heated up from the high temps so the gas fired heater is not needed now but will be needed once the monsoons starts, some days, parts of the house get no water. We have had workmen here multiple times and yesterday we each managed to have a meltdown. I screamed in frustration at one point, not my usual means of dealing with the bumps in life.

Ron called the broker and let him know we would not be paying our share of the rent unless everything was in working order. Well by 1:00 we had Mr. and Mrs. Panchal, and Anurag here. The Panchal’s daughter and son in law own our house and are currently vacationing for a month in CA and Vegas. Then there was a parade of workmen for the rest of the day, culminating after 8 p.m.  We had been given tickets for a dance performance but couldn’t attend due to workmen being here until 8:00 p.m. We ate a cold dinner then did a crossword together.

At one point Dashrath (Mr. Panchal) wanted to drill holes through the wall so he could install the gas canister and what they call a geyser (pronounced as geezer) which is the gas fired water heater inside the house. Ron told him absolutely not as we would have carbon monoxide in the house. Dashrath said ‘but it will be upstairs’ and Ron told him carbon monoxide is heavy and sinks. OY! Welcome to our world folks.

Developed countries have a lot to be thankful for, not the least of which is our knowledge of safety and environmental issues. I am always surprised at some practices in developing countries when the knowledge is available. In eastern Ethiopia we were shown a city garbage dump located next to the river where the city got its water supply. I do understand that some times it is an issue of money but in this example someone did not know the dangers of locating a waste dump with all kinds of toxic matter up river from where drinking water is taken.

We have had two of the AC units serviced and the workmen are due back today to add gas. The water issue may be resolved. We are checking out how the pressure goes today. If we have problems, then some part needs to be replaced. I visited with Mrs Panchal part of the day. She said at one point, ‘In India everything takes so long with many trips.’ I wanted to make a snide remark but withheld it. I did tell the broker that we are used to how things go in the US and we needed to adjust to the big difference here. He apologized for how long all of this is taking because the owner is out of the country and the 12 hour difference which makes for a time delay in getting responses from the owner.

To lessen our stress, the coffee I ordered from Delhi arrived. As I opened the Fed Ex box, a French roast aroma hit me and I was so pleased. What a gift to have good coffee. My fry pan from Amazon made it today also, which will lessen my stress in the kitchen. Twice I cooked scrambled eggs in a saucepan and I do not recommend it at all.

May 2, 2016

The water problem seems to be resolved as does the dripping AC. This is real progress. Our new internet that was installed on Saturday stopped working on Sunday evening. And so it goes… we don’t have enough internet mojo using our cell phones for me to read the Times or to order ebooks. So I work crossword puzzles at the end of the day.

Did I tell you about the milkman? Daily a guy drives into the society in an auto rickshaw with crates loaded with pint size plastic bags filled with fresh milk which he delivers to his customers. The stores here charge you for plastic bags to take your purchases home with you. I think this is a great start to reducing plastic bags. Most customers bring their own cloth bags. I keep reusing the fabric-like bags the grocery store uses  and the large plastic bags the household goods store uses. Still looking for where to buy those cloth bags…one thing at a time.

Each day the household get more organized and furnished. Today I got a shower caddy to help Sankar clean our shower. Now he doesn’t have to move bottles of shampoo and cream rinse, nail brush and razor. He can pick up the caddy by its handle and it will be a time saver.  

May 3, 2016 - Animal Kingdom

This morning after our walk, the monkeys came over for a visit; jumping from limb to limb in the trees, racing across the yard, jumping on the porch swing and scampering off with Ron in pursuit. I got a shot of one pensive guy in the tree nearby. I am pretty sure these are gray languar monkeys.  Afterwards, we were visited by the peahens and peacocks. What can I say? It is a special experience and reminds us that we chose this life of adventure for just such reasons.

Sankar has taken over the gardening responsibilities and is working hard to catch up from Malee’s lackadaisical style. When Sankar does something like this he summons me to show me how it looks. He is proud of his work and I like that about him. He works quite hard. Adding gardening responsibilities, he can easily pay off his debt to us without losing his regular income. After six months he will have additional income if he chooses to continue with the gardening responsibilities. I need to find out where to buy some of the needed tools like clippers for the shrubbery.  I will ask Kamla, our sainted neighbor.

Yesterday, she sent over a fab curry and rice and a sweet dish that we could not determine its source. It tasted a bit like apple. She called first to see if I had eaten lunch. I told her I ate early because I had errands to run. She inquired as to whether she should send it over or not. I said ‘Are you crazy? Of course send it over. We will have it for dinner! We love your cooking’. She said it gave her great pleasure to get the praise and she cooks for her family so what’s the problem with cooking a bit more. I am embarrassed to be so glutinous but her cooking is fabulous and not too heavy or oily as some Indian cuisine is. We gave her a wooden tray as a thank you gift on Sunday because the tray she had sent over was plastic and had hairline cracks where the handle joined the tray. I was afraid someone could get burned if one of the handles gave way. Today her man servant showed up after breakfast with fresh warm paratha, a lovely layered and flakey bread and a spread made of paneer, a simple cottage cheese and black sauce that may have been a bean base. So many mysteries. I had to try it right then. OMG. How did we get to be sooooooo lucky? I saved Ron’s potion as much as I would have liked to devour his share.

I washed up her dishes to return them and started to go over to her house. The family was leaving and she got out of the car to tell me her son in law had to be hospitalized due to chest pains. Off  they zoomed.

Today Hasha joined Sankar and helped clean the house while he worked outside mostly. A day or two ago he had shown me that he cleaned the squat toilet and shower room outside that is designed to be used by servants. So last night when we returned for his night shift I offered him a towel and soap and asked if he would like to use the shower. He said yes and pointed to his head and indicted he wanted to shampoo his hair also so I went upstairs and got him some shampoo. When I came back I showed it to him. He pointed to the bar soap and indicated he used bar soap for his hair. I pointed to the shampoo and aped washing my hair with it and then aped washing my body with the soap. Let’s just say it was one of those magical moments of sharing something when you don’t speak the same language but end up communicating more than words. Again, it’s another reason why we are here.

I assume that given his income they do not have running water in their living quarters or at least they do not have shower facilities. If you go into a middle class house here the bathroom is all tile with a squat toilet or western toilet and a hose on the wall that you use to shower yourself and that will get the room pretty wet as it is a small room. Not a particularly enjoyable experience after growing up in the US with all our abundance and privilege. I am glad he did what he did and I got it...that he wanted to shower here. I could invite him to use the inside bathroom but I know from experience he would not use it. It happened when I asked Geetha our housekeeper in Sri Lanka to use the inside shower that had hot water. She wouldn’t do it. It is like some invisible line that helpers will not cross over and I must respect their rules whether written or unwritten.

Our society is homogeneous in that all the homes are upper middle class I would assume by Indian standards. Each home has
enough parking space for two cars maybe. Some families have multiple generations living together so they have more than two cars. Our neighbor Kamla’s family has three for example. Many neighbors park the excess cars on one side of the lane that is designated for this purpose. On our morning walks we pass by servants whose responsibilities include washing the cars on a daily basis. We are greeted not only by the other walkers in the ‘hood but by the car washers as well. There is a certain orderliness to this ritual.