A Great Day

June 16, 2016

Our weather temperature is down to 106-108 this week. Where did I put my sweater? It is an improvement. Yesterday I had a difficult day. Sankar, our housekeeper, has rented an auto rickshaw in order to earn more money. He can actually live on less than I pay him but his mother’s surgery has created more debt for him so I assume that is why he has taken this step. He is excited about it. But yesterday his head seemed to be in ‘auto rickshaw’ He came to work and washed the three cars next door and brought me with some plants for our garden. I was thrilled as he has wanted to replace some plants that died and to add more. I had hoped to go with him but he went on his own for whatever reason.

I went upstairs to do something and Sankar told Rahul, the driver, he was leaving to have his rickshaw serviced and told Rahul to tell me he would be back later to work his hours. I was quite angry because he did not talk to me and even madder when he never showed up. Hosha, his wife, came over around 1:00 to tell me he would be here at 2:00. She speaks no English. I told her in English that he had better show up and that I was leaving at 2:00 for an appointment. Needless to say it was stupid to say anything but I was loud and forceful so I hoped she would get my drift. He did not show up and did not come for his evening shift. So this morning when he drove up we were out on out walk. I did not make eye contact with him as he drove by. When we got back to the house, he said ‘sorry’ and I made it clear we would talk with Rahul arrived. He apologized again and again but I let him stew as he needed to see I was upset. When Rahul came I took both of them outside. I told Sankar I was sorry I didn’t speak his language and had to have Rahul be a part of this conversation. Sankar would not sit in a chair, showing deference as is done here. I tried to get him to sit at our level but he wouldn’t. There are so many parts to culture, tradition and behaviors within cultures.

I started by asking him if he wanted to still work for me. I thought that would get his attention and it did. Throughout our conversation he had trouble making eye contact and frequently looked down and when he spoke he mumbled or spoke very softly compared to my direct and forceful voice. I had instructed Rahul to make no comments of his own which of course he did do. OY! Anyway I told Sankar he has lost my trust by not coming back to work yesterday and not calling me which I have asked him to do on three occasions.

I cited his behavior last week when he agreed to help Kamla when she was short staffed and had a house full of company. He failed to show and turned off his phone so she had no way of contacting him. She told me she would never ask him again. I told him her husband was the president of this society and knew all the residents. She would never recommend him to anyone here. I told him his behaviors had consequences.

I gave him the option of reducing his hours if he wanted to expand his rickshaw time. He asked how that would impact his pay. I currently pay him for five hours a day and his hours would be reduced to three a day. When he saw that his salary would go from 9,000 rupees to 5400 he quickly opted to continue his five hours. He knows I pay way above scale here and that he has it easy here. Most employers would never loan money and I doubt any would invite a ‘servant’ to spend the night in a guest room which I did when he was ill.  I told him if he ever did not come to work without calling me again his job would end immediately. I think he knows I am serious now. I told him all of us have days where things come up and we need to change our schedule and I was willing to do that but he had to talk to me about it rather than just taking off or not showing up. I told him I cared about him. If I didn’t care about him I would have fired him yesterday. At the end I told him of our custom of shaking hands when an agreement has been made. He smiled and shook my hand firmly.

Yesterday I decided to try a new place for a mani/pedicure. The place I have been going to is located in a real funky complex with broken tiles, poor lighting and lack of cleanliness. The salon is cramped and three women work on my nails at the same time. They love the tips I give them and are sweet but the setting is a jumble with the  TV going, someone working in the same room behind a curtain on a client and family members hanging out in the small space. So after finding out that the Hyatt has a salon I made an appointment. What a contrast. The room was darkened, the pedicure chair was the type we have in the US with an attached tub and massage option built into the chair.  I found the massage more annoying than soothing. No TV, the space was open, not cramped and there were no other clients although there was room for more. Given that the rate is the same as the US I think there are few people other than travelers or ex pats who would come here.  My technicians were sweet women who come from Sikkum and Northeast States. Sikkum borders China, Bhutan and Nepal. It was a relaxing experience and helped my mood which had been darkened by my reaction to Sankar’s behavior.

Ron and I have started watching our favorite News Hour in the basement in the home theater on the projector. We usually follow it with an episode from Bletchley Circle. We have actually seen season one before but we are stumped to find something more entertaining. We are open to suggestions if any readers have some, please email us.

Ron had a great day at work today. Last week he visited a friend whom he has known for 10 years and with whom he worked a few years ago. Ron asked about resources in India for training. She referred him to a man who was overseeing some money for local government training from a defunct organization. Today Ron and his coworker went to meet with the man and he willing to support the training program, but the University will need t present a proposal that will have to be approved; however things look very proising. Now that’s a great day.