A special day with the Gupta family in Surat

August 30, 2016

Today it is dripping with humidity at 79% making our 86 degrees feel like 106 according to Accuweather. Aah India!

Saturday morning in Navsari we were visited by Vidhi’s fiancée, Prayatna and his sister, Prashma both of whom are doctors as are their parents and other siblings and some of their spouses! Prashma was a lively woman with lots of questions about our life here in India and at home. We talked about how Indian families live together with multiple generations under one roof and how in the US this is rare. She said she has 11 living in her household and it feels almost empty to her. Vidhi and Prayatna will be married in February. I later asked Vidhi if it was an arranged marriage. She said no that he had been her instructor when she was getting her bachelor’s degree in medicine. She is now studying for her entrance exam for her master’s degree in medicine. The competition is fierce with 1200 slots and 100,000 applying and half the slots are reserved for certain castes. Vidhi is not in one of those castes.

Back to arranged marriages. Vidhi said it is less common in her generation and among educated people. She said about 30% are arranged. She said when she told her parents that she wanted to marry Prayatna that initially they were against it because he is in a different caste but they met him and his family and changed their mind. Then the two sets of parents made the arrangements. So in a sense it was arranged but quite different from Rahul’s experience. He is our driver. His parents went to a marriage broker and the second time he met his wife was when they were being married. He is from a lower caste and has a bachelor’s degree and his wife does not. I was intrigued by how Vidhi and Prayatna interacted. In our country many engaged people would probably be flirtatious and intimate. Vidhi sat on one side of the room and Prayatna on the other. She followed him outside to the gate when he left and watched as he drove away but there was no physical contact which I think is quite common in India. Even in Bollywood movies which are mostly romantic love stories you will not see any kissing on the screen.

In the afternoon we left for the Science Center, a grand structure in Surat, about 30 km away I think. We visited the planetarium and saw a great film. Several of us feel asleep…oh I think maybe all but Vidhi and Ron. There is something about a darkened room and a chair that leans back in a reclining position and someone talking softly. 

Next we went to the aquarium where we saw fish of every description. We were glad to finally see a Snake Head fish as we were once asked in Thailand if we would like some Snake Head soup and we declined thinking it was made of…snake’s heads not knowing it was fish. Next time we will try it. Afterwards we enjoyed a tea break and shared a sandwich. We next spent some time looking for a new public development. We went down several back streets and got conflicting directions before Raju finally found the right way to go and we arrived at a crowded venue. We visited the Gopi Talav built in the 1500’s and what a treat. This is in the city, a large redevelopment project of a reservoir complete with boat rides and pedal boats, picnic areas, beautiful lighting at night. Loads of families were there enjoying this venue which also had a restored old step well from the late 1700’s. We spent a lot of time walking around the circumference of the lake. There was a cool breeze and a couple of times we were asked to have our photos taken with people who were there. On the first day it opened there were 42,000 in attendance, far exceeding expectations. Now it is a great revenue source for the city of Surat as it is very popular. We loved every minute of it.

Ron and I had invited the family out to dinner. Our evening ended to a great dinner at the Sizzler Salsa restaurant…no not the Sizzler we know in the USA with bad steaks. This is a pure veg place with an extensive menu. Because,  we have been eating so much of Sangita’s great meals we decided to go light and ordered pasta and salad. When the bill came Raju snatched it and refused to let us pay. This family has been so generous that we are embarrassed by their kindness to us. We are truly blessed. We topped off the evening with Nescafe down the street and Raju let Ron pay. We arrived home at midnight and immediately headed for bed. Indians eat much later than we do so it is not unusual to see a family with young children walking into a restaurant at 10:30.

We got up at 7:00 and left after breakfast at 9:30 loaded with gifts: snacks to take for the trip, a colorful mirror work purse for Tricia and the manual veggie grinder that I admired when Sangita was using it.  We look forward to hosting the Gupta’s when they come to Ahmedabad to shop for the wedding. They said the selection will be better here and less expensive. I have already told them I know how to cook one or two Indian dishes…yikes what will we eat???